Being Your Mom

Today is Mother's Day and so I find myself reflecting on what it means to be a mom. Certainly a lot has been written on the topic. It takes just a few clicks of the mouse to read about all the sacrifices, all the heartache and all the joy that comes along with motherhood. Many moms write about the beauty of it all - the wonder and amazement of our children. Another just as many write about how tried and overwhelmed they are. How the pressure to be a perfect parent drains and exhausts them. Other moms find the humour in it all and make us laugh with the re-telling of their family antics.
And though I can relate to almost all the articles out there about what it means to be a mom, I find myself thinking about what it means to be your mom. We are, after all, the only me and you combination out there. We are special.
Being your mom means I smile when you tell me all about Bumblebee and your favourite Transformers. Though I don't particularly like the toys, your enthusiasm for them captures me and I love watching your imagination blossom as you pretend to be Bumblebee or one of his friends.
Being your mom means I have to let go that you will love and play soccer this year. I believed you would enjoy running and kicking a ball with a bunch of other kids on the field this Spring. It was not to be though. You are too young to appreciate team sports and so I need to let go, relax and let you be you. Time will ultimately decide if and when you will like playing soccer.
Being your mom means your future is on my mind constantly. I only want the best for you and so I worry incessantly about the decisions I make for your child care and preschool needs. In the Fall you will have to leave Linda's and start a new program. Will I pick the right place? Will you like it? Will you thrive and learn your A, B, C's or will you hate it and resent me later? I don't know but I sure do worry about it a lot.
Being your mom means I look forward to seeing you every day. When I ride the train at night after a long day at the office, I think about you and can't wait to see you. I want to hear the stories about your day, I want to hug you and give you a kiss. I want to push you on your swing and hear you laugh. I want to give you a bath and tuck you in at night. You are always the best part of my day.
Being your mom means I have a beautiful satisfaction in knowing that of all the decisions your dad and I ever made, you were the best one. Our little family is a gift I treasure above all else. I can't even remember a time when you weren't in our lives. I wouldn't have it any other way now.
Being your mom means my heart is full. Full of love, full of pride, full worry and concern. I am so grateful for you - for the fullness I feel. Thank you Bear. I love you.
Mom xo