The Hummingbird

My grandfather died on Thursday July 18th. Unlike my Gran - who seemed to pass quickly and suddenly - my Grampa (he was always "Gram-pa" to me) lingered for much longer than anyone could have guessed. The care aides claimed he had started "the process" the Friday prior and my Grampa survived almost a week without any food or water. By the time I saw him on Tuesday, he was not conscious and he was so frail he looked like a skeleton covered in thin skin. Though I was initially shocked by seeing him in such a condition, I quickly took comfort in realizing that he was sleeping peacefully and I was told he was given enough morphine to ensure he had no pain.
That evening I spent an hour or more sitting beside him with my mom and my Uncle Steve. We talked about all kinds of things; from memories of Grampa, to stories of Brandon and we even spoke of Gran's recent death. When it was time to go, I told Grampa I loved him. I told him that I would miss him but I also told him it was time to go and rest in peace. I kissed him good-bye and knew it would be a long time until I saw him again.
The next day was a planned memorial service for Granny. Uncle Steve decided it was a good time to also remember Grampa and so the family celebrated the life of each of my grandparents in turn. I was deeply touched to hear the lovely memories people had of Grampa. I didn't feel ready to share my memories that day but what struck me was how much love there was for Grampa. It occurred to me that in life he was a lucky man to have been surrounded by people who cared for him so much.
As for me, I think I will always remember him as a quiet man. He used to like to sit in his chair, reading the newspaper and smoking his pipe. Lighting his pipe was always the same with a "tap tap" to put the tobacco in and then the "puff, puff, puff" to get it going.
Grampa was never far from a piano and some of my favourite memories include him playing the ivories while singing his songs. Certainly a highlight for me was when he played a duet with Afi at my wedding. No one is quite sure of the song anymore but I do remember tearing up as they sang their hearts out to a crowded room :-)
Grampa was a man of faith and always seemingly in a good mood. He was quick to smile, tell a joke and have a laugh. As his own memory faded with age, he would often forget things and then laugh when you pointed out his errors. The family called these "Jack Attacks" as they became more and more frequent as the years went by.
I think what I'll remember most is that Grampa loved my Gran so very much. Sometimes she could be very cranky or even mean when she was in pain. It never seemed to faze Grampa though. He would fetch her whatever she needed and he never complained. His patience and love for her seemed infinite. I remember very well them dancing together at their 50th wedding anniversary and how he smiled at her. I'm happy he is with her again.
One memory I'll always keep is the last time we spoke to each other. Mom had taken me and Granny to visit Grampa at his nursing home. It was 2009 and his Alzheimer's wasn't too bad yet. He knew who I was even though he got confused about where I lived and whether or not I was married. When I said good-bye to him that day I kissed him and told him "I love you". That's when he said "Thanks. I love you too Dear".
As my mom, Uncle Steve and I sat in Grampa's room on the Tuesday evening before he died, Uncle Steve told us how people will get a sign from a loved one to let them know they are okay after they've passed. I wondered then if I would get a sign from Grampa as I felt I hadn't gotten one from Gran. Interestingly enough I did - or actually we did. Mom received the phone call on Thursday that Grampa had passed around 3pm that afternoon. My dad and I were sitting on the deck when she relayed the news to us. We hugged and she sat down and we talked about Grampa. Maybe 10 minutes had passed when two hummingbirds flew onto the deck. One sort of stopped and paused in front of us. It stayed for a moment before flying up to the trees to be with the other hummingbird. I smiled and said "it's Grampa" and it was and I know in my heart that he's okay.
I will miss him and Gran always but I'm so glad they're together again. I hope he's playing a song for her right now :-)