Time to take stock. It's hard to know where you want to go if you don't know where you've been. A quick look back reminds me I come from a very good place. A loving middle class family that always supported my opportunities for growth and challenge. I rode horses, drove a car, received my college diploma and university degree. I traveled to the USA, Europe and Mexico and basically lived a very privileged life. Either by virtue of nature or nurture, I knew from a young age I wanted to have a career in business, own a house and have a family. So from the ages 20 to 40, that is exactly what I spent my time, energy and money on. How did I do?
1. Marriage - I married a wonderful man. He supports me in all ways imaginable. Our marriage is not perfect and it's hard work but we are both committed and I can't see myself growing old with anyone else. In fact, I don't want to.
2. Family - Kids are tough. Every day I'm surprised by how much this parenthood gig challenges me. Am I doing a good job? I don't know but at least I try. The one thing I do know is there is nothing I love more in this world than my child. Being a Mom is truly life's greatest gift.
3. Career - I work in a very dynamic and interesting industry. Every day I'm surrounded by high functioning, critical-thinking people. My day-to-day work isn't always exciting but I know I work for a good company and a good boss in an environment that is well suited for me.
4. House - We own a beautiful house in a great location. I love the house but it comes with a price tag. Lately I've been thinking it's time to get serious about owning the house and not just "renting" it from the bank.
So life's bumps aside, I've done really well for myself. Yet here I am, on the other side of 40 and I feel lost. I've done everything I set out to do and now I'm not sure what the next steps are for my life.
I recently sat down with a very good friend and shared with her my feelings of uncertainty. Luckily for me, my friend is very wise and she said "well now you need to plan the next 40 years of your life. What does retirement look like? How are you going to get there? Do you want a second degree? Do you want to start your own business? Think about what's important to you and get started on it".
Retirement. Of course! Jamie and I would like to retire at the age of 55 but we've never really discussed what that looks like for us. We've been saving since around the age 30 but I see it's time to get more serious about this. We'd both like to live by the water, spend time with friends and afford some travel if it suits us. And of course we want to be healthy as we move into the second half of life so we also need to reconsider our eating and exercise habits.
So 40, for me, is about putting into practice what I've learned so far. Set goals, make a plan and live life to the fullest because tomorrow is no guarantee. Spend time with friends and family, be curious and explore, eat only good things, simplify, optimize, be brave.
I thought about all of this as I relaxed after my spa treatment in Maui. It was my husband's 40th birthday present to me. As thoughts, plans and memories washed over me, I developed a mantra that I hope sees me live my 40's with grace and grateful acceptance:
Breathe. Relax. Let go.
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